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visitor
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Carol Cotting was a very special person who did not deserve to die this way. Her friends are still in shock and will miss her smile and laughter forever. We hope that Colin will receive what he deserves and that he will "come clean" about it being the 'pot' that caused this horrible crime.
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visitor
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I am a family member and would like to clear one thing up. The supposed fact that there was a torn condom in the same room as the freezer was never substantiated. Someone said it and then someone printed it and it has been splashed across the news since. The fact that this site would say that Carol was sexually assaulted is irresponsible news reporting.There have not been any tests done. Her body was found in a freezer and therefor has to be properly thawed before tests can be run to find out if she was in fact sexually assaulted. The reason why this was even called into question was because her body was found partially naked. There was no condom found in the same room as the freezer. The fact that this poor woman was beaten and so horribly ripped away from her family and friends is heart wrenching enough without lurid false details swirreling in the mix. If this site wants to report on news worthy events perhaps you should get your facts in order first. The family may be considering a law suit over this. And they have enough to be dealing with as it is.
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visitor
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I am a friend of Colin's. People who don't know him have no business judgeing him when the only info they have is what is in the media. I am not defending what he is accused of. I am simply stating my anger at the media for taking every chance can to say negitive things about him. "Colin drove around in the stolen car even though he had no license". What the hell does the fact that he had no license have to do with all of this? Just one example of the media going out of it's way to make a bad situation worse. If Colin is such an evil kid then why did 90 students seek counseling after hearing about what had happend? I know several people who attend his school & frequent his favorite hang outs. A large number of students at that school would have very few people who cared about them if they were in the situation Colin is in. Remember- It could be your little brother or a good friend sitting in a cell someday.
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visitor
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I would say this story belongs under "sad" rather than sick.
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visitor
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and remember it could be your friend buried in a pine box because of a kid who "supposedly" used dope as a defense for what he did.
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visitor
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He didnt use dope as a defense, he said it was hard to put the details together because he was high. When is the last time you talked to a stoned teenager? It can be like talking to a stump. There are alot of things that could put me or a friend in a pine box. If you are a relative or friend of Carol's I'm very sory for your loss. If your just a stranger trying to jump on some kind of band wagon though you realy should find a better use for your time.
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visitor
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Sorry but i don't buy it. he said he didn't remember much because he was high, and chances are that will be his defense. It's been used before.
And no i'm not jumping on a bandwagon, i've talked to a stoned teenager in the last month. and there is something more here than being stoned on pot to beat her to death, and do all the other things that he did.
The fact is, his actions put her in a pine box; nothing else did. Just as this friend of Colin's doesn't want people to be judgemental, and uses it to remind us that it could be our brother or friend, well the victim is my friend.
What kind of person drives around IN her car for three days, knowing she's dead and HE killed her?
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visitor
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I'm the friend from the post before last. I want to make it clear again that my statements on here are not directed at friends or relatives of Carol. I never met her and I can only imagine what her family is going thru. I wont argue with people who new her over what should be said about Colin. I will however continue to defend the boy I knew before this happend from media & strangers who never knew him or Carol. If defending my friend hurts the feelings of Carol's friends and relatives, that is not my intent. This whole thing is extremely sad for everybody connected to it whether they be friend or family of Carol or Colin.
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visitor
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so tell us more about colin, what was he like and why do you think this happened? Why the drugs? Why did he feel it necessary to use drugs, was his life really that bad?
Even if i weren't Carol's friend, i have difficulty understanding stuff like this. I have kids myself and hold them accountable for their actions, have we become such a society that there's an excuse for a horrendous crime like this? I can understand mitigating circumstances (i.e. extreme abuse -- but even people don't kill in those circumstances either) but when people are on drugs, they make that CHOICE, and should be accountable.
Unfortunately, media judges things pretty harshly; and sometimes their perceptions are incorrect. That sucks.
I see no winners here. Colin's family is hurting, Carol's family is hurting - it is a sad, tragic situation and there are no winners or losers. We're all losers.
I cannot even imagine what is happening for her husband, who is the biggest loser in this situation. I cannot even imagine what he has to live with.
Let's find commonalities, and use this as a lesseon to try to prevent things like this from happening to others!
Blessings to you, "Colin's Friend" he will need others like you in his life who don't drift away. I cannot imagine the damage to his soul, nor to what he has to live with either. I hope he can find some form of support too -- he's a human being and is only 16; but i will always maintain, consequences must be faced, no matter what, we're accountable for our actions.
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visitor
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Colin has a personality that draws people to him.
He is friendly and easy going and of course he has attitude like most 16 year old guys do. He has the typical interests of a teenager-dirtbikes,video games, & going to concerts to name a few. As for why this happend I realy dont know. I dont know enough about his family life for it to be fair for me to comment on it. AS for the drug use I would say peer presure plays a part but if I knew why teenagers use drugs I could write a book. I dont think you will find any argument from Colin's friends that there are consequences & that he is accountable. I'm still taking the whole thing in and don't realy know what else I could add right now.
Colin's Friend
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visitor
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I know what you're saying -- you can't imagine why your friend would do such a thing (and neither can we) i'm still in shock and i'm still taking it in too. I'm farther away and it makes closure that much more difficult. I just happened to get here by googling my friend's name after finding out and not wanting to ask the family too much.
I think what blows my mind is how *anyone* can do something like this. I wish Colin would give us answers; i think more than anything, i want to know WHY? What would make him do such a thing to a human being let alone his step mom.
I won't add anything else, i think we are both in pain -- i wish there was a way for us to continue this conversation privately.
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visitor
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what a chicken, blaming pot is a cowardly action, it hepls so many (cancer aids, ms, to name a few) he is just a sick f##k, nothing more... does alaska have capital punishment... they should
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visitor
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I have smoked pot in the past and never once have I been unable to recall events that occurred from being "stoned". This is a cop out. More importantly, I don't believe that pot causes this kind of senseless, brutal, violence. Either Colin is a really, truly, sick, sick child, or there are other factors involved here that haven't been disclosed.
I am a friend of Carol's and will miss her dearly. She was kind to everyone, all living things...wildlive, her pets, her plants and her garden, and her family including her loving husband and her step-children. May she rest in peace.
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visitor
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poster of "I know what your Saying" feel free to email me- universalexports2005@yahoo.com
Anyone who just wants to bash this kid please dont waste your time or mine with an email. I wont read it and will just add you to the iggy bin. I'm not even going to justify the "Capitol punishment" remark with a response.
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visitor
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done.
To Carol's other friend...we are all heartsick here. what else is there to say?
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visitor
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hi my name is monica i live in anchorage,ak and my friend and i whent out with colin.we never thought that someone like him could do any thing like that but i guess we were rong.colin was a very controlling person to bolth my friend and i and he would be very mean some times to.the last time my friend and i saw colin was on sunday in paruchutes in the dimond center mall.(yes i know ,how could you go out with a killer and not know?)
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visitor
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"Mean and controlling" would describe most of the guys at Service High from what I know. But since I'm a guy and never dated him (attempted humor)I wont be too quick to pass judgement on other peoples view of him. I know several people from his school and Colin is the one I would trust the most out of all of them. Not recent events or anything else will change my view of Colin.
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visitor
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I've been looking for information about Colin's arraignment, but haven't found anything. Does anyone know if he has entered a plea?
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visitor
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to my knowlege no plea has been entered yet...he has yet to appear in court to answer the charges. I'd like to be able to follow this too.
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visitor
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There have been 2 arraignments but no plea yet. It may be a while since a trial or plea-bargain is probably a year and a half away at the soonest. I'm sure any news of a plea will be in the local media when it happens.
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visitor
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Thanks for the info. I will be following this as it progresses.
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visitor
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2 arraignments? did they add charges or something?
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visitor
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He was not charged with sexual assualt until after the autopsy. That is why there were 2 arraingnments. If I hear of anything new I will post it on here.
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brainhop
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Cool, we appreciate it
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visitor
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Why isn't there more in the news? Is everyone sure that Collin was alone that night? Could there have been someone else there too?
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visitor
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There's nothing else to tell right now as for more news. I think the police are certain nobody else was there.
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visitor
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The paper mentioned that a friend of Collins said that the stepmother had been abusive. What is that about? Anyone know something about that relationship?
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visitor
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I know Colin pretty well but I dont know much about his family life. I know he had typical teen issues with his parents but other than that I realy couldnt say.
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visitor
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They say no one else was involved...and as for abuse, i don't believe that for a second.
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visitor
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Whatever happened (and none of us where there that night) this a 16 year old kid being held in maximum security for his own protection. He has no contact with friends or family except a video visit one hour a day if he is lucky. He has no TV or music - no entertainment of any kind. He is fed enough to stay alive and not much more than that. He has no exercise, no education, and not much hope.
For those who are vengeful, his punishment has started long before he will be convicted.
For those of you who are his friends, he can get mail.
The media convicted him from the first day. There were so many inaccuracies in the news reports that many of us who knew both Colin and Carol are finding it hard to believe any of what has been reported.
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visitor
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You're making this sound like a third world prison -not likely. He can write, he can read, maybe he doesn't have a TV but those are earned privileges, aren't they? How would you know that, did you go to visit him? Doesn't he get an hour exercise? He should.
His punishment may have started before he's convicted, but ours will go on forever, and we no longer have someone with us -- face the fact, Colin took her life!
Yes there are inaccuracies, and exaggerations, but the charges are real and those are the things done to her.
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visitor
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Are the charges real? Carol is dead - that is a fact. Colin has been charged with first degree murder. That is a fact. Other than that its mostly speculation. The system is not a one hour episode of Law & Order. Its a convoluted and twisted way of discovering the truth which includes speculation, leaking that speculation to the media and seeing what it stirs up.
In Alaska a minor charged as an adult is put in adult prision, in maximum security and segregation which is the same thing as solitary confinement. They can't earn priveledges.
If you really were a freind of Carol you'd know that her first concern would have been for Colin. At least thats the woman I remember and miss.
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visitor
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Jail is tough & I guess it should be. I've heard from Colin, he's doing ok all things considered. Friends are sending him letters & magazines. He is well into a rather thick book somebody sent him.
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visitor
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Some of the posts on here sound like a reporter fishing for clues or trying to stir things up.
The Anchorage Daily News is run and staffed by bottom-feeding pond scum.
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visitor
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Face it, Colin DID admit to killing Carol...that's also a fact.
No, i *am* a friend of Carol's, she also believed in people dealing with the consequences of their actions. If you had any idea, YOU would know that.
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visitor
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Quote from one post that says he shouldn't.
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visitor
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I am a friend of Colin's. I am also one of the few people who knows what it's like to be on both sides of the story. I lost a friend to homicide not too long ago. Her husband shot her on her way to work one morning. I don't hate her husband but I think it will be a long time before I could forgive him. My point is that hating Colin or saying he should have to sit in jail with no mail & no visitors will not change the past or make anything better. Say or think whatever you want if that makes you feel better but think of other peoples feelings to. We can all bicker on here or we can try to understand & hope that something good will somehow come out of all of this.
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visitor
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Did anyone say s/he hates him? If you're asking if i hate what he did, you bet! I'm angry, and i believe he should face the consequences, that's all i said. He should have to sit in jail to think about what he did, and maybe he doesn't have visitors for a reason, and i don't think anyone said he shouldn't have mail or visitors. Maybe the person who posted could research WHY he isn't allowed visitors. Chances are it has to do with the horrificness of the crime...and the fact that he has to be kept separate for his own protection, chances are he'd be killed if placed in the general population.
He's in jail because the crime he committed is horrific...you do the crime, you get locked up...those are the consequences...
I did a search on the internet just to see how many 16 year olds have committed violent crimes...what does it say about society when kids are doing these types of crimes? What does it say about our regard for life? What does it say about us as human beings and what we've taught our kids?
I think it's an incredibly sad commentary on the human race when we see cases like this are on the increase, it isn't just "stranger" crime, it is relatives or an aquaintance...that's unbelievable.
I'm sorry but i don't feel sorry for colin, what he did was horrific AND he rode around in her car for days afterwards...he knew what he did was wrong.
If it was accidental to start with, i could understand some compassion. But to do the things he did to her purposely and the rest of those details, AND CLEAN up...nope - doesn't get my vote for compassion. He had none for Carol.
There are people here who are his friends. Fine, i respect that, but someone needs to speak up for the victim, he didn't show her any mercy.
What can we do to prevent something like this again? What can we do when things like this happen? What about the kid? What about the victim? There's all kinds of sides, but when you kill, you get locked up. jmho
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visitor
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Yes, he can have mail & visitors. I think it was on a different board that I read some of the things I refered to earlier. I fully agree that he should have to sit there and think about this for a long time. Alaska has had its share of teenagers who commit this type of crime but every case is different. Everybody wants to know why & what could have prevented it. I don't think anybody saw this coming, no warning signs. Even if there were, would it have changed anything? The 2 kids who shot up that school in Denver in April 99 gave warning signs for months but people wrote it off as "stupid teenager talk". I won't ask anyone who doesnt feel sory for Colin to change their mind.
He has to live with what he has done to his family & friends as well as those of Carol. I wont make excuses for him but I do feel sorry for him and I think about him every night before I go to sleep.
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visitor
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you should pray because he's gonna need it...
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visitor
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somebody tell me how to tell your kids who were really close to "auntie carol" what happened...
Tell me, what am i supposed to do?
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visitor
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Without knowing your kids ages or your spiritual beliefs I think the only suggestion I'd have is to remember that your focus has to be on your kids. HOW much you tell them depends on their age and maturity. Little ones don't need to know details. Older ones may need facts without gore.
One thing you can tell them is that no one ever really understands why bad things happen to good people. You do have to say that cause they'll be thinking about it.
Whenever you tell them about a trajedy it's helpful to be right up front and loving. Telling them that its ok to be sad and to miss Carol is important. Let them know that they can talk to you about how they are feeling (but be careful to be strong or they won't cause they'll be afraid to hurt YOU).
I found, in my family, that at first kids are kind of numb. It doesn't sink in right away so you have to watch them for when it does. If your kids were really close to Carol you might want to talk to your pastor or get some counseling lined up for when it does hit.
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visitor
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"Everybody wants to know why "
I was talking about this to a friend who is a lawyer and she said that we never really will. During the trial the prosecuter will make sure that the world believes Colin was a sociopath. The defense lawyers will make sure the family (including the victem) was the worst family on the planet. Every mistake any of them made will be magnified.
Colin's friends are going to wonder if they ever knew anything about him at all.
Carol's friends are going to wonder the same thing.
In the middle of this will be the evidence that the judge allows which may or may not be what really happened.
My friend also pointed out that even if Colin does tell what and why all we'll have is his side of the story and that will be so long after the fact, who knows what he'll really remember or have convinced himself of because the trial won't be for years.
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visitor
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those are the problems of the "adversarial" system of justice...
And memory is always affected and polluted by things around you, what you remember, the triggers and how others remember things affect how you remember things.
How many years does it take up your way? (I'm in Canada)
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visitor
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They are thinking 18 months to 2 years before Colin's trial comes around but anything could happen. A plea-bargain is also a possibility but that is also a long ways off if it happens. I think a plea-bargain is a good idea, it would save both families a lot more grief but it's going to be some time before it's decided what will occur. Those of you who are here in Alaska I'm sure are aware of the Brandon Ling Case, the teen boy who lured his friend out of her house at night and killed her. It took a year to get his case to trial and it was much less complicated than Colin's case. At least it appeared to be.
If this case does make it to a court room, it will be messy and unpleasant for everyone involved.
Our justice system makes no sense much of the time. Take for example the owner of AIH who just got a plea-bargain and will serve no more than 11 years for giving drugs to young girls and forcing sex on them. They give more time than that to first time bank robbers.
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visitor
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i'm not so sure how i feel about a plea bargain -- that was in cold blood. Sorry, that's just the way i feel
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visitor
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Much worse cases have ended in plea bargain. Whatever happens, its probably a good thing that it is a long ways off. I don't think anybody wants to sit in a court room and be exposed to the things that will be said and shown.
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visitor
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Aren't plea bargains usually trades of info for a reduced charge? I can't think of anything he'd have to trade for.
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visitor
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That's what a "deal" is...if he pleads out, it saves the cost of a trial and it may mean a reduced sentence rather than going to trial. The DA may not offer that, though...who knows?
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jturnerj@shaw.ca
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visitor: I met Colin one time on his first time in Vancover, thought he was pleasant well mannered but then he was only 13. It boggles my mind as to what may have happened to his mind since then. I guess we'll never know.
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visitor
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Has anyone visited him yet?if anyone has plz write me at "candy_spice18@hotmail.com"and plz if your only writing to tell me im a freak or sumthin like that i just wont check it.thank you.
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visitor
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To jturner...i sent an email but it may have been 'spammed out'
it's from has west in the name
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jturnerj@shaw.ca
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I don't know what the laws are up there or how stiff the penalties but a person not get off scot free just because he's under age. Colins mother grandmother and Dad are all fine people that I know of so what went wrong? My grandaughter tells me that kids in her school do drugs disrespect there teachers and are very seldom punished. I don't know what goes there minds and this is the generation that is going to run our coundtries in the future?
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jturnerj@shaw.ca
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I have nothing else to say, I guess we'll just have to let the justice system take it's course.If they drag there feet like they do here, we may never have a verdict. God bless the people who have to make the decision and live with it. Finished.
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jturnerj@shaw.ca
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delete my name from this list.
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visitor
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what the hell kind of a **** gets on this web site and says hello?!?!?!?!
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visitor
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This is ALL bull**** okay? damn i mean colin wasn the kind of person that would just up n say imma kill someobdy today! no okay she musta done somethin damn wrong to piss him off i no it sounds like im just in denial an i cant face the fact. this is bout how all of us feel. WHO would turn themselves in i mean especially when colin HAd a life an friends. besides he shouldnt be charged as an adult..dont we all get treated like children but as soon as we COMIT A CRIME they are like okay NOW we can treat you like an adult wtf is up with that! i dont ****in think so!i no plenty of ppl who STILL love him regardless..we dont think of him how all of you do like all you can think bout is "he killed somebody" we think of him as colin...just like everybody else ..cant you think of it how we do? yeah its hard. but it feels like he died! he was soo fun to hang out with he was smart funny an he was always smiling never had any thing to be mad about and all that he just turned 16 he had a good life ahead of him.. he was always there for his friends.. i mean think bout it! seriously! also think bout it in his perspective you just killed someone..it wasnt planned it was a spur of the moment thing then next thing you no the cops are looking for you..your skipping skool your freaking out you feel lost an alone..thinking i lost all my friends (he didn) how could anybody ever love me. then your sittin in an adult court getting charged with hard core charges..never being able to had the luxury of life everybody takes for granted that he had not long ago. you not being aloud to see face to face visitations of your friends. just a phone and a camera. not being able to touch them..hold them..feel them ever again. that all for now talk again later.
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visitor
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I agree with much of what you say here. I'm sure Colin is sorry for what he has done and would change it if he could. I've received mail from him and have talked to other people who have. Being isolated has had quite an effect on him.
Regardless of everything, I am & will always be his friend.
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visitor
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You think this is all bull? Carol wasn’t the kind of person who deserved to be killed and I don’t care WHO you are, there’s no excuse for that. As I said before, if it was accidental I could see it but what kind of person tampers with the evidence, cleans up and lies about even KNOWING her whereabouts? Give me a freaking break!
She did something to p*ss him off? This *wasn’t* her fault! Carol had a life too. She was only 42, and had a whole lifetime left to be with her husband and family and friends! She had a life family friends who loved her. You all get treated as children? What *kind* of CHILD kills?
There are plenty of people who love Carol, too. As I am sure there are people who care about Colin. Regardless, he committed a *horrific* crime! He didn’t *just* kill her.
Carol was smart and funny, she was great to hang out with too. She was a happy person, she was about to have her birthday too. She was always there for her friends. I mean, think about it seriously! Think about HER perspective…someone she cared about and trusted killed her. She was no doubt floored at what became reality. How lost and alone was she? Nobody was there but Colin, and she didn’t have to die THAT way!
If you don’t want to be charged as an adult, don’t do the adult crimes, honey. I’m sorry but it’s pretty hard for me to feel sorry for Colin. He ripped someone we loved very much away from us and we don’t have the luxury of being allowed to ever visit with her again – we will never see her again, there will be no face to face visits. No phone, not *even* a camera for us! We’re not able to touch or hold Carol, to make her or ourselves feel better! How’s that for a good, solid, cold, stark, harsh dose of reality? That’s the reality we face daily. She is gone from our lives. Forever.
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visitor
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Jeez no offense to anyone but this board is realy sounding like a broken record.
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visitor
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then if you have anything new to add, feel free to do so!
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visitor
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Nothing new that I know of at the moment other than I just mailed Colin a Christmas card. :)
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visitor
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to the **** who wrote all the bull **** to us bout what we wrote: if you had the luxury of seeing and talking to carol we would have the same about colin.
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visitor
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and did you not read what we said? hun, would you fess up to that kinda crime. i didnt think so. think bout it dont be so conceeded n only think bout yourself we are kids who lost our friend okay yeah think bout it!
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visitor
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Ok timeout for both sides. I'm a friend of Colin's but I dont think this is getting anywhere. Are we all just going to bicker on here or try to make something good come out of this whole mess?
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visitor
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How nice, we can't even *send* Carol a Christmas card.
To those other two:
We *don't* have the luxury of seeing Carol!! Not even a camera. You can see Colin, whether it be by camera or some other way.
Get a good grip now. Think about it, CONSEQUENCES! Do you understand that what has happened to Colin is/are the CONSEQUENCE(s) to his actions? You're sounding like he doesn't deserve this. I'm having a hard time feeling sorry for him. I'm not just thinking about myself, I'm thinking about Carol's mom, her sister, her friends, her husband -- THOSE are all the people that Colin has affected by his actions!
You may be kids but you didn't lose your friend, he is still here. We lost our friend. She's gone forever. What Colin faces is tragic but one of his own making.
I *do* feel badly at the damage Colin did to his soul and to others...and i would hope we could figure out a way for something good to come out of this, but if there are people who aren't getting that there *are* CONSEQUENCES to actions how is that going to happen?
For Pete's Sake, at least accept the fact that he did this horrific thing and realize that there *are* and *should be* consequences.
Instead of whining, then tell us what it is that makes kids do these kinds of things. Don't go blaming the victim. What is it that made Colin do this? What would you do to prevent it?
There's something to think about.
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visitor
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Nobody is denying he did it, he told the police he did it. I think we all have the point that nobody can 'visit' Carol. Saying the same stuff over and over and bickering about it isnt going to accomplish anything.
I dont think anybody knows what makes kids do stuff like this. How do you prevent something like this when you never saw it coming?
I think everybody knows there are consequences for what happend. Even if you are Colin's friend as I am it would be unrealistic to think he shouldnt have to face consequences for what he has done.
I think he is a troubled kid who needs help. As to what caused him to be troubled or what could help him the most I realy dont know.
If you think a teenager you know needs someone to talk to, spend some time with them.
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visitor
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i love colin with all my heart and i do think that he needs some punishment.but not 99 years.i mean,he was ALWAYS there for me and i will always be there for him.
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visitor
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Well don't make out that he's this soft cuddly cutie that needs help; he needs help, yes, he killed, yes, and he also committed a HORRIFIC crime. What he did was inhuman.
Bickering? No, i think it's also important to drive home the fact that he is a murderer who tried to HIDE the crime. That's what is so horrific. If it had been "accidental" and he'd called 911 the minute he knew something was wrong that might have been different but he didn't do that. He tried to hide it and put her in a freezer for God's sake! Get a grip people, don't make him out to be someone in "unfortunate" circumstances...He put HIMSELF there, and he alone did that.
Strong words? You bet! I'm not going to apologize for my feelings, or for what i say. Somebody has to speak up for the victim too.
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visitor
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I would say it's instinct to try and cover up a crime. Nobody wants to go to jail even when they know they have done something wrong. How many people admit to a homicide right after it happens?
The media had a field day with the whole freezer thing. I think puting someone in the freezer is much less worse than say- dumping them in a vacant lot or something. If he was realy trying to hide what he did he could have had someone help him "clean" the house and not taken anything. Nobody saw him come or go from that house that day.
It's going to be 18 months at the soonest before a trial and it could be much longer. Colin is going to have a long time to sit there and think about what he did and the pain it caused a great many people.
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visitor
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Colin had a hearing the 29th. Nothing big, just preliminary stuff. It lasted a couple minutes.
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visitor
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Thanks for the info about Colin's preliminary. It is appreciated.
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visitor
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a couple of weeks into knowing about this - I asked a pastor from the states to visit Colin - although I havent met him in person - I have met Carol - Im sorry for the families and friends loss on both parts. May there some day be forgiveness as we all have the ability to do a horrific crime (not that makes it right) however May some day the understanding of what and why Colin chose to do the action he did be able to help those who need the healing so much.
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bored_in_canada
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I'm new to this site, but I am surprised at some of the comments here. It almost sounds like the "friends of Colin" think it was ok to do what he did, to hide her in the freezer, etc.
I just wonder how they would feel if it had been one of their friends who had been killed and disposed of in such a manner? What if it were your mother or father, and you came home to find them in the freezer?
Do you really think there is any "excuse" for this type of murder and the behaviour that came after?
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visitor
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Yada yada yada
Yada yada yada
This ground has been covered more than once already. Nobody said it was ok.
As someone who considers Colin a good friend I will agree that he has to face some consequences
for what he has done but how severe they turn out to be will not be decided by anybody on this board.
The media caused all the uproar over the whole freezer thing by saying he "stuffed" her in it.
Technicaly he didn't dispose of her body, he hid it. I never said it was ok, I said I thought it was less disrespectfull than dumping her in a vacant lot or something similar.
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i think everyone should stop attacking everyone elses comments - instead try and show a bit more respect toward each other - hate crimes and such happen when people disrepect one another
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There's a BIG difference between Hate Crimes and the discussion going on on this board. Hate Crimes involves RACE (usually) this isn't anything close. But it sure makes me wonder what kind of anger or hate Colin must have had to do something like this!
To the poster who's surprised at the comments (you ain't the only one *S* There's a couple of us here)
We may not be the ones to decide his fate but a jury probably will and hopefully they'll have more horse sense then some of the people on this board. JMNSHO...
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visitor
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"The media caused all the uproar over the whole freezer thing by saying he "stuffed" her in it.
Technicaly he didn't dispose of her body, he hid it. I never said it was ok, I said I thought it was less disrespectfull than dumping her in a vacant lot or something similar."
I think you've forgotten the rest. I highly doubt that the way in which Colin put her there was "respectful" by any means...It's not like he gingerly picked her up and tucked her in. Puhleeze! What he did was not only disrespectful it was inhuman!
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I still would like to see an answer to my question :I just wonder how they would feel if it had been one of their friends who had been killed and disposed of in such a manner? What if it were your mother or father, and you came home to find them in the freezer?.
Also to the person who said that Colin's fate would not be decided by anyone on this board, from what I have read from his friends, all I can say is "thank goodness to that".
Unless it was a VERY big freezer, stuffed would have to be the correct word.
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Just a quick comment. Once you murder someone, I don't believe anything you do can show respect for them. You have a right to your opinion, of course, but I hope no one ever shows you that kind of "respect".
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Completely agree with BOTH of these posts!!
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Well I have known someone who was killed. She was shot and left to bleed to death in parking lot. I'm Colin's friend & I also know what its like to know the victim.
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visitor
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so what if it was your sister? Your brother? Your mother? your best friend?
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bored_in_canada
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To the friend who knows Colin and also had a friend killed. How did you feel about the person who killed your friend? Did you suggest that the person not be punished to the full extend of the law? Did you feel sorry for the criminal? Just curious.
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Nobody ever said dont punish him.
Lets dig the dead horse up and beat it some more.
yada yada yada
yada yada yada
What extent he is punished to will be decided by a judge after a conviction.
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Umm his brother goes to my skool. Like if we mention it we will go into custody. Like I just feel so sorry for his own family. But hopefully everything will be better soon. Hopefully.
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visitor
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YADA YADA YADA
Seems to be the comment from someone who doesn't want to answer a question. If this is a discussion then why not answer and let everyone know what your feelings are. Yes he will be punished, and we won't decide how.
Maybe your wise insight will help someone understand this from Colin's point of view.
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I also feel sorry for Colin's family and for Carol's family. As a parent, I can understand the family wanting to know why, and also understand why they would not want to believe it was all his fault.
As to the comment, "if we mention it we will go into custody", could you explain what you mean. Do you mean at the school, it is a forbidden subject, and you would have to go to the office and/or get expelled?
I can understand that idea, as I'm sure feelings run very deeply, and that there are people in every class that are on different sides of the fence.
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It's my understanding that people at his brothers school can talk about it but if they say anything mean or rude they will be suspended.
Not sure what they do at Colin's school. I will find out.
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Ok people who said Colin was nice in crap. He wasn't. Some people in told me his vocabulary was f*** and s*** pretty much. He was mean to his brothers and brothers friends when they went to their house. They also told me Carol was a sweet sweet woman and people are just sticking up for Colin a lot and not facing the facts that he was mean and some people did know in a way he would kill. Thanks a lot.
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I never saw him be mean to anybody, that doesnt mean he never was but he was nice to his friends and people he didnt even know. Oh he cussed, that makes him evil lol. Anyone who said they knew he would kill is talking crap & trying to get attention. People who didnt even know him told reporters they knew a lot about him.
And It sounds like you dont even know him or at least dont know much about him.
You say stuff like people told me this and people told me that. That's whats known as hear-say.
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I knew Colin at Unity Church when he was a little guy. He was in my Sunday School class. I knew then that Colin was different. None of us know what he had to deal with internally. Colin had issues that most of you don't know about. This does not excuse him for what he did. I'm not say ing that. But I know he is not evil. Nobody in this family is evil - just victims. I am praying for them all. I know them and they are good people just doing the best they can. It's a disaster for all and shame on the local media for their treatment of the story and their treatment of Jo Marie Thomson, his mother. Does it surprise
me that the media did what it did? No ! Alaska is full of such hypocritical, self righteous types, I'm afraid. (I lived there!) My love and prayers goes out to the whole Cotting family. They are really hurting.
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visitor
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I must have missed something in the media coverage, becuase I didn't see anything about Collin's mother. And what are Collins issues that you talk about?
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visitor
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Colin's 'issues' are not for public display.
I have an idea what some of them are and I'm sure there are things I dont know.
This kid had a bumpy childhood and some realy ugly things may come out at a trial. Is he different because he wasnt a happy kid? Colin projected an image of a happy outgoing teenager but holds a lot of hurt and aggression inside him for whatever reason.
You are right about there being no excuse for what he did & also that he is not evil.
I don't remember seeing anything about Colin's mother either. Colin was very mum about his family life. As far as I know very few of his friends ever met his mom & step dad.
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I am an investigator working with Colin's defense team. As in all criminal cases, Colin is entitled to a defense, which includes a rigorous examination of all the evidence against him and investigation of all relevant facts. Each person charged with a crime is entitled to no less.
To better understand this case and to bring all relevant facts forward, I would like to talk to friends and acquaintances of Colin and Carol, or to anyone who may have information relevant to this case or to Colin's defense.
This is a serious investigation. Please do not contact me simply to ask questions, offer opinions or theories, or chat about Colin's case. Attorney-client privilege prevents me from discussing any case related matters.
If you know Colin or Carol, or have relevant information about the death of Carol Cotting, or the relationship between Carol and Colin, please contact me via my email address: Richard_Norgard@admin.state.ak.us and let me know the nature of your information and how I may contact you. Your information and identity will not be shared with anyone outside Colin's defense team. Any assistance will be greatly appreciated.
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I use to live in the same neighborehood as Colin. I recall playing with him and his elder brother Kyle on a daily basis and as I recall, Colin was just a happy hyper kid. I visited Anchorage two years ago and tried to get in contact with the family while visiting the old neighborehood but no one was home than. I'm not so sure weither I wish I had or should be glad I didn't.
I would most certainly not mind if anyone who remembers me to contact me about this horrid event. paco_gvbedroom@hotmail.com Christina Grady, Daughter of Teresa Grady and William Grady. My love goes out to Colins family, and even him. I hope he gets the help he needs and no more punishment than is deserved.
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This message is directed to the person who knew Colin from sunday school. It is so refreshing with all the biased, one sided comments on this site to read a comment from someone that actually does have some insight into Colin. He did not have the best of childhoods. That does not condone what he did and neither does the "I was too stoned to remember".
I do agree with another previous post that there might have been something else that happended to set him of like that. I have spent a lot of time with him and his family in Anchorage. At no time while with him did I feel that he would hurt anyone without just cause. I may be mistaken but that is my observation. He is not an evil child as a lot of people have stated here. When he was with my child he showed nothing but love and caring.
I know that he has admitted to killing Carol, I'm not disputing that. I just wonder what else may have occured prior to that. I don't see his killing her just because he was high on weed.
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And where were Carol's friends? I'm sorry. I knew her casually in Anchorage and I've never met anyone more alone. She had her dog, her cats, her husband and otherwise was totally isolated. I was at her Anchorage Memorial service and it was the saddest thing I've ever seen. NO ONE seemed to know her.
I know that a lot of the anger I'm reading here is guilt. Carol's friends are feeling guilty because they were only her friends when she was helping them (from what she said - the lot of you sound like users and losers).
Colin's friends are in denial but as 16 & 17 year olds - you have an excuse.
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That's just blatantly untrue. We were there for each other. I was one of her best friends, and nothing she did warranted what Colin did to her!
She wasn't alone and isolated so much as we are far away. You can only do so much when you're further away. I will say this much: You haven't a clue as to what I know i've done for her and we were friends even with the distance. But i don't expect you to understand that.
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Oh and BTW I know a whole lot more than you realize and i did my best to be there. Sometimes you can only do so much.
You also haven't a clue as to how much our family has grieved since Carol was very much a part of us for the past 25 years!
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Absolutely TRUE. No one deserves to be murdered. Based on what I know about both sides of the family I'm DREADING the trial. If Colin was so bad - what was Carol doing about it? As a step mom myself, I know there is responsibility when you marry into a family. Carol talked alot about her friend's kids but nothing about her step kids. I found that odd. When I was at her service, only one of the step kids got up to say something about her loss. That too says a lot.
Face it. We are ALL hurting here. You no less and no more than anyone else.
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So you make judgements based on what you see but not on what has gone on behind the scenes...you have no clue as to what she tried to do, and what went on. She took up the responsibility valiantly, i might add. Maybe only one kid got up to speak because others didn't feel as capable, you don't know WHY the others didn't say something. You've made some pretty snappy judgements about her friends, i would say.
You're hurting? Seems more like you're interested in being jugemental and as for hurting no more than anyone else, i wonder about that. Carol was very much a part of us.
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Thats exactly the kind of response I expected. You are the only one entitled to hurt. No one else gets to. Your feelings are more important than anyone elses. Please.
Judgemental? maybe. I know that I'm not impressed with what I saw. Or what I heard and I would run into her several times a month. Being murdered doesn't make her a saint. She was a funny lady and always interesting but I'm keeping an open mind here until I've heard the testimony at the trial. Yours is so closed you are willing to hurt anyone and everyone until we acknowledge your pain.
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Only one entitled to hurt? Where'd i say that? Someone still has to speak up for the victim. Carol was the victim here.
I don't know who you *think* you are, but nobody made Carol into a saint; my mind is open, but there comes a point when Colin will have to deal with the consequences of his actions, and that's always been my point.
You are jugemental of Carol, her actions and her friends; i see that in your post. That's probably why you aren't or never were privy to anything "personal." If she were here right now, she'd dismiss you because you haven't a clue what you're talking about.
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Carol may be the victim of this crime, but Collin had to deal with this woman being his stepmom. Collins dad travels allot, and one day came home with Carol. What would make a single woman with no kids be interested in a man who is married with five children? Don't you think that the kids may have resented her? I've know the family for many years. There was never anything wrong with Collins childhood, other than the divorce that obviously caused some pain.
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I am stunned that one of you visitors said that Carol thought most of her 'friends' were users and losers. Imagine what she must have said about you behind your back :)
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No, this poster is making an assumption that carol's friends *must* be users and losers, but what she doesn't know is those of us who love her had a *very long* history...I suspect she may be jealous, no? ;-)
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hi this is a ex-girlfriend of colin's and i just have to say that every time i talkeed to colin on the phone his stepmother was always yellin at him and **** like that...so u CAN NOT say she was always sweet to him she wasn't so get over..okay that sounds really bad but i still a little amped about what he did but whatever i don't think he should of done it but drugs can do **** to ur body he was also on acid if u didn't know and the reason we broke up is because he was doing drugs and stuff that i just didn't approve of ya kno .........i'm deeply sorry for those friends of carol who have lost her..let's all hope she's in heaven....
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"And where were Carol's friends? I'm sorry. I knew her casually in Anchorage and I've never met anyone more alone. She had her dog, her cats, her husband and otherwise was totally isolated. I was at her Anchorage Memorial service and it was the saddest thing I've ever seen. NO ONE seemed to know her."
What kind of judgement is that? As you said "you knew her casually in Anchorage." Easy to make a judgement on someone you dont know it seems. Maybe take a step back and ask, maybe if I knew her a bit more, I wouldn't have jumped to that conclusion. After all you really dont know eh?
"I know that a lot of the anger I'm reading here is guilt. Carol's friends are feeling guilty because they were only her friends when she was helping them (from what she said - the lot of you sound like users and losers)."
Anger is guilt? Carol was always our friend. Another conclusion by someone who didn't know her well at all.
"Colin's friends are in denial but as 16 & 17 year olds - you have an excuse."
As for this lil' comment, I have never believed that because you are 16 & 17, you have an excuse. No matter what, you are responsible for your own reactions. A teenager is as responsible as an adult. Even though teenagers don't like to be all the time =)
Just know that if you judge someone without really knowing them, you don't have the full story. We all aren't in the position to judge anyone really in this case. We all just have our opinions, let the courts decide Colin's fate and let Carol be a human who was tragically murdered.
I know Carol very well and have for over 2 decades, I have my opinion about all of this, but it isn't my place to judge.
Colin is where he is susposed to be. I can't raise judgement on him either.
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yea welll what kind of 16 year old turns himself in for killing someone???? NOT ALOT out of every teenage killer how many TURN them Self in?
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ya know .. most of the poeople that our writing on this website don't know a thing about colin .. i've known him for a long time and really disrespect the fact that so many people think they can be so unbelieveably judgemental about something that happened. None of you will ever know what really happened with him and his stepmom, she could've been abusive for all we know. People have a commonality of putting on a pseudo-personality on in front of other people, when they hide who they really are from others. Colin had been into drugs, I personally don't know which ones and how hardcore he was into it, but i know that his addiction was bad.
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ABUSE? NO! NOT EVER! Why? Because I know Carol, and she STAYED with us! I raised my kids with her involved in our lives, if there was even an *inkling* I'd have known about it. Sorry, there is NO WAY she *ever* abused Colin. Nope.
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he is very very STUPID
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All I can say is that Carol Louise McInness Cotting was the best person alive and now she is gone. She was and always will be my closest and dearest friend. Not a day goes by that I don't look at the pictures we have together from the day I first got married as she was my "maid of honor" to the day her and her husband got married as I was their "matron of honor". I will never be able to get over the shock of how Colin so brutely and in such an EVIL and SATANIC way murdered her. All she ever did to and for Colin was love him unconditionally and this is the thanks she gets from him. Let's all face it!! Colin murdered her for no "REAL" reason...there is no reason to murder anyone whomever it may be!!!...Thank GOD that I am Canadian and we don't have guns and other deadly weapons in all our homes! I love the world, but when something such as Carol's murder happens, there just aren't any excuses that would ever be able to make it better or bring her and others back from the dead!!! I hope that Colin finds a way to live with himself, cause the way I knew Carol...she would not want him to suffer the way she did because of him. She would want him to get the help he needs to recover and become HUMAN and LOVING once again! As for Colin, I never did have the chance in meeting him and for that I am glad, because I know if I would have known him I don't know if I could ever forgive him for what he did to my dearest and closest friend whom I loved and still love as my own sister!!! GOD REST YOUR SOUL CAROL AND MAY HE KEEP YOU IN HIS LOVING ARMS FOREVER AND LET YOUR SPIRIT SOAR HIGH ABOVE THE CLOUDS WITH THE ANGELS...FOR YOU ARE AN ANGEL AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN AND ALWAYS WILL BE!!!!! Think of what Colin's father lost...not only did he loose his wife, best friend and lover, but he also lost his son!!!! As for Carol being accused of abusing Colin, that is a complete CROCK OF B.S.... If anything, Carol was and will always be one of the most loving, caring, compassionate, giving individuals in the world. She did not have a mean bone in her body! She loved the Cotting children as her own! All she ever did was give them all UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!!!! You all know who you are and what you do...Only one person, I believe knows who I am...and that would be Carol...and one of her dearest friends from the Vancouver area which by the way...I agree with you one hundred percent and then some...you know who you are and so do I...Anyways, I only have one thing to add to all this malarky...and that is...."Why can't we all get along with eachother? Be a brother/sister? Be a friend? Cause if we'd love eachother more, there'd be nothing left to fight for. No contendor. No surrender. Every body wins!!!!" My love, thoughts and prayers go out to all of the Cotting/McInness and Carol and her husband's friends throughout the world who miss her so desperately! I love you all.
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Thank you...if there was only a way to constructively use this to reach others and make a difference, somewhere, somehow.
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Now i can add a little more. I do know who you are, but there is one thing i must reiterate. Carol will have loved Colin unconditionally and wanted to do all she could for him, including getting him the help necessary, but she would have also expected that he accept the consequences of his actions and deal with it. She wasn't the kind to run away from things, nor to sugar coat them, either. She was kind, decent, loving, caring and compassionate but she was also a shoot from the hip kinda gal.
I cannot imagine what Colin's dad must be dealing with losing not only his wife, but his son. My heart goes out to him and to the others so deeply affected by this.
If there are teens on this board doing drugs, maybe it's time you took a good, hard look at what you're doing to your body. Look at what can happen! You have this one body to go through life with, take care of it, and take care of those around you who love and need you in their lives. GET OFF THE DRUGS! Life is fun *without* the added substances. Carol said to me years ago, "you're right, we can have a *LOT* of fun without alcohol. And we did. Live life, in its totality *without* something to bury your pain. DEAL with your pain, get help, find someone you trust to talk to. It's DOABLE.
If you're rebelling, remember that your parents are doing what they know to do, what they think is best for you. Take it to heart, they love you. (most do anyway).
If you know someone mentally ill, give them some extra support, don't be afraid of it. It could be the difference between life or death. If you think someone is having trouble, get help. Seems that psychosis is becoming much more common among teens. It's not surprising with all the things the brain goes through in changing throughout puberty.
Live, laugh and love. That's always been my motto, and leave the junk behind. Find good friends, ones who only want your best. Not drinkers, partiers, which doesn't lead you to something fruitful and good in your life. Find *good* people to be with. Being GOOD *is* cool. Have compassion for those around you.
Those are the things Carol would want you to take with you. Those are the things she'd want to leave behind with this. Take this legacy and run wtih it. Help those around you, do GOOD, and don't let *anyone* tell you you *can't* because you CAN!
That's what life is all about. Supporting one another, helping one another and good friendships and relationships. That's all we can ask for. May God Keep us all.
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I know Colin, he's probably one of the sweetest guys I know. I didn't know his step-mom and I am sorry for people who did. My father was a victim of homicide, so I too know what it's like to be on both sides. I do not consider this to be a homicide after what police, Colin himself, and other close freinds of him have said. I am not going to repeat any of what was said. I would only like to say that people should really hear both sides of things before they begin to think that what they think is absolute. The only one to know the truth in this is Colin himself and those he trusted with the truth. The press wasn't one of them obviously, so everything about the incident was made out to be worse than it was. My opinion also, I think the press shouldn't have gotten involved with it only because people who didn't know him would say things without thinking of the people they were saying them around. I don't know how many times I got pissed off because I heard peeople say things about Colin that I know to be untrue. I am truely sorry for those who knew Carol. I must tell you, it took me more than half of my life to understand something; that no matter how much we hate, claim to hate, or be mad at situations in life; those feelinsg don't make what happened go away. It took me a long damn time to forgive the person who killed my father. In fact, I saw her last summer at a grocery store. She was the one who recognized me. She asked my name to be sure and then started to cry and sob out endless apologies.
I remember I used to curse her name and wonder what I'd do if I ever got my hands on her.
But I knew I had forgiven her the moment I embraced her in a tight hug.
The reason I share this story is not for my own benefit, but for everyone elses. I can only hope that you learn to forgive and understand far faster and possibly better than I have. I can see now that I wasted so much time dwelling on hate that I never even thought about what she had to live with; knowing she took a life, a friend, a son, and a father from his only child.
As Colin's friend, I do what any true friend would. I am on his "side" if you will. His actions are his own. One incident in a persons life does not determine who they are. It makes me proud to know that I am Colin's friend and to know that I got to know him far better than a lot of people who choose to post here. I'll always be there for him. I'll always love him and I'll always care.
I guess I just wanted people to know that what they have in front of them is all they really need and to waste life on hate, anger, and revenge will get you know where. I would not like to see anyone go through what I did, It kills me to know that choices like homicide are still being made. Life is precious. Don't waste it on hate when you could be enjoying something better in the end; Love and Forgiveness.
To anyone who has suffered because of this incident, I give my deepest sympathies.
-Shamera Fleming
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Just as you *know* colin, there are those of us who *know* Carol just as well. People are also saying things of Carol we know to be untrue. So, you'll need to bear that in mind.
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you don't consider this homicide? Well, whatever he's said, especially with smatterings about carol being abusive is simply UNTRUE. Fact is, he KILLED her. Sorry, Shamera, i'm not buying it. The police consider it to be homicide, and if it's not homicide then he wouldn't have been charged with murder. He needs to take responsibility for his actions. HE put the drugs in his body, HE killed her, HE hid evidence, HE destroyed evidence, HE made it look like robbery, HE drove around in her car after killing her, driving that car for THREE days!! NOBODY else did this, HE did!
As long as i have breath i will continue to state that Carol was the victim here, COLIN killed her. Colin should reap the consequences of his actions. Nobody does that much to deserve to be killed, and no, i don't believe there are mitigating circumstances. HE is still responsible and should be HELD RESPONSIBLE for what he did.
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NO one is a saint.
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not stepmom or son
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Carol is missed on a daily basis by all who love her now and then. Colin does need to own up to the murder he committed when he killed my best friend, Carol. He has shown no remorse what so ever. Not only did his father loose his wife and best friend but he also lost a son. Why doesn't someone just put themselves into the husband's/father's shoes for once and think of the HELL he has to live with for the rest of his life?
Nothing will ever bring Carol back...nor will it correct the wrong Colin did! But know that the wonderful, caring, loving and compassionate person Carol was and will always be deep down in our hearts....be it known....that Carol would forgive Colin for what he has done to her...she's soaring high above the clouds with the Angels now. She is an Angel herself. She would want all of us to forgive and carry on and just remember the good things in life.
As for Colin, if you happen to read these statements yourself...let it be known that I forgive you and so does Carol...but I will never agree with you nor will I ever understand WHY YOU DID WHAT YOU DID.........THERE IS NO EXCUSE......AND DRUGS AND ALCOHOL ARE THE WORST TYPE OF EXCUSE YOU CAN THINK OF...GROW UP AND DEAL WITH THE WRONG YOU HAVE DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!...MAY GOD FIND IT IN HIS HEART TO ONE DAY...FORGIVE YOU HIMSELF!!!
GOD REST YOUR SOUL CAROL....I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU ALWAYS........YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND WHEN YOU WERE ALIVE AND STILL BREATHING AND WILL REMAIN THAT TO ME FOREVER AND ALWAYS.....NOT A DAY GOES BY THAT I DON'T LOOK AT YOUR WEDDING PIC, AND OTHER PICS.......LOVE YOU ALL....Take care of yourselves........and as Carol would say,
"BYE FOR NOW"
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It takes a very strong person to work through such anger that invades a persons heart after such an unfortunate experience. My prayers are with Steve to work through this as well as for Colin.
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Shamara I think it was awesome you were able to come through your experience and find the healing that was so much needed.
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It's great that Shamara was able to come through her experience, with some healing. But i do find it a little baffling that she would not call this homicide. I think we can work through the anger but it's the WHY we want to know. But there seems to be from Colin's friends, an "excuse" for what he did, and there is not excuse. Not for murder, unless it's self defense, and this was not it.
Once again, i'll speak up for the victim. Carol may be the kind to forgive Colin, but she would also expect that he deal with the wrong he did, and the consequences.
Again, i will reiterate, that if you're a teen on drugs, get off that stuff! Your life is worth so much more than that! Carol would be the first to say, "get off that sh!t."
If you know they are doing drugs, support them but don't enable them; help them get help...that should be the legacy that Carol leaves behind. That other kids learn from this experience, and that others stay away from drugs, stay in school and be all that you can be!
Maybe one day i can forgive Colin, i don't know. I'm more sorry for him, than i am angry but again, just because we demand that someone face up to what they did and deal with the consequences doesn't equate non-forgiveness or non empathy. It means that we are all responsible for our actions, and our reactions, Colin included.
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To Carols friend that keeps writing about her. Why don't you say anything about Steve's ex wife? Do you think that she really wanted a divorce from her husband while they were raising FIVE kids? Do you think that any of the family besides Steve were at all thrilled to have their Dad run off with a girl he met while working out of town? I don't believe for one second that Collin was so drugged that he didn't know what he was doing. I believe that he has been dragging around some pretty heavy resentment for Carol invading his family. She moved up here and just fit right in. Or so she thought. NO ONE should date married people. If Steve was so unhappy at home, then he should have at least told his family. My friendship lies with the cotting family. Not Steve. His family. His ex-wife and children who are left to try and deal with this. I feel that Carol took away a husband and a child from Steves EX-family.
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You can continue to go around and around taking moral stances trying to justify murder. It seems to me that resentment or not, there is no justification in this case for murder. Collin is a 16 year old who needs to come to grips with what he has done. Drugs or not, infidelity or not, murder is wrong on so many levels ,I do not have the time to get into it. Even if infidelity is involved you can not for one second compare the two in terms of right and wrong. Colins friends need to quit pointing fingers and laying blame on others , they need to stand up and say hey our friend murdered someone. And once this happenens they need to decide whether or not they wish to continue to be a part of his life. So basically what I am saying to Colins friends is shut-up and get on with it, because those of us that keep reading this forum are tired of your mindless crap.
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the marriage was already done. Whatever assumption you're making there, has *nothing* to do with, nor does it JUSTIFY murder!!
To the person who wrote your post just above this, THANK YOU!
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I think that you may be confused about blame. I don't see anyone doing any blaming. Collin is responsible for what he did, I am just trying to get ANYONE to notice that the little kid may have had some animosity towards his stepmom. I guess that I would have to ask you to put yourself into his shoes. I hear you saying that the marriage was over. How the heck do you know that? Is that something that Carol told you? Because I was very close to Steve and JoMarie. JoMarie was very shocked to learn she was getting divorced. Why do you continually say that murder is trying to be justified here? I am simply saying that Collin may have had a few years of anger built up and he let it get the best of him. How could you say that it would have nothing to do with anything? You may want to put yourself into JoMaries shoes. Your husband goes off to work and comes home with a girlfriend. I don't think you would enjoy someone mentioning how your marriage was over. Please stop YOUR mindless crap.
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animosity doesn't = murder, and there are plenty of people who live in Step parent situations who *don't* murder their step mom. The stuff you're starting to spout is bordering on slander and you better be prepared to substantiate it.
Her husband didn't go off to work and come home with a girlfriend, but nice try though. This isn't the appropriate place to air your dirty laundry.
So please stop YOUR mindless cr@p. Why would i put myself in Jo Marie's shoes when what you are stating is not only innacurate it sounds like sour grapes to me.
Please stop YOUR mindless cr@p.
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Let's just slander the victim(s) seems pretty mindless to me.
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when i would be at a store or a sporting event right after this incident happened i would over hear people talking about it and talking about how bad of a kid he waz and that his parents should of saw this coming. The truth is, is that they didn't know colin and you should never judge someone on just there acts.
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The truth is, sometimes parents don't see something coming. It's not because they don't know their kid, it's because their kid doesn't always let them "in." It's covered up in the junk that goes on when you go through your teen years. There's lots of things parents don't know, but it's not for lack of caring, or being a loving, caring parent. It's because the teen *chooses* NOT to tell them, for whatever reason.
You should never judge someone on their acts? Yes, people are judged on how they act, every day. That's a part of every day life. This ACT that Colin did is judged, and yes, he's judged for it. Why? Because people (especially those close to the situation) want to know, "What was he THINKING?" How could he DO something like this? My son said to me, "I don't understand, mom. You get mad at your parents, you may even rebel, but you *don't* KILL someone!" He's right.
Colin is judged for his actions, and yes, the act plays in this. And part of that is because it is so heinous, and horrendous. It's not even a *typical* murder (whatever that is) but it's gruesome, he tried to hide it and DROVE around in her car for days afterwards. I find that hard to swallow.
I can only hope that teens who are on this board can learn from this: Share with your parents what's going on. You think you'll be judged? I can tell you, they're far more relieved and appreciative if you're honest and up front. And don't always assume just because you might be in "trouble" it's because they hate you, it's because they care about you and want to see you as a growing productive member of society. Hopefully, someone that others can look up to!
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I'm also a friend of JoMarie's and can back up the fact that everyone except Steve was shocked by the divorce. All 5 kids were deeply hurt and disturbed and JoMarie had no clue that it was coming.
Understand this though - the murder was between Colin, Carole and Steve. I don't KNOW that Colin was so resentful of his stepmother that he IMAGINED it justified anything. What happened between the adults is pretty irrelevant except where it impacted the kids. After all, it's a pretty stale story when a husband dumps his wife after 20 years for a woman without a family.
I'd like to address this to Carol's friend - things aren't always what they seem. From everything I've read here the Carol you knew deserved your love and passionate defense. Can't you even begin to imagine that something might have changed after she moved to Alaska? Those of us who knew Colin as a kid have had to face that something about the funny sweet kid we knew changed drastically. Can't you imagine that the pressures of being a stepmom might have been more than she was up to dealing with? It happens all the time.
And before you respond - remember that I am NOT blaming the victim. This isn't a court of law, its become a forum for working out the hurt of the people affected. There is a place during sentancing for victim impact statements. You can have a chance to tell the court what you've lost. For the rest of us we're trying to make sense of a senseless crime - not excuse it. I've never met a saint and don't think Carol was one. Nothing I've ever heard about her makes me think she deserved to die this way, that doesn't mean we've heard the whole story.
I liked Colin. He was sweet and funny and passionate. He would do anything to help people - even strangers. He hated injustice and people who caused emotional pain to others. That's why this is so hard to believe.
I didn't know Carol but I am a stepmother and know how much effort it takes, even when everyone gets along. Somehow I don't think this was about Carol which makes it even more tragic. This was about Colin and his Dad. What a total waste.
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Then jo marie must have had her head in the sand.
I don't think that it's even relevant. Life isn't fair and kids go through lots of things that don't go their way. It doesn't mean that they go out and murder. And that, for me, means there's not an excuse. I know of lots of other kids who would have a *reason* to kill, and they don't. He wasn't abused, he wasn't unloved. Just messed up. Unfortunately, what colin did was permanent. It is the waste of a human life, and a tragedy for those of us who face life without her.
This may not be a court of law but i'm going to tell you what i lost here. Probably because i won't get to alaska to tell the court. And i will also speak up for the victim; who by the way, i never said was a saint. But she's not the evil stepmother either, nor did she break up that marriage.
I *do* know carol, and i know the efforts she made, so that everyone *could* get along, and Jo Marie did the same. She's moved on with someone else, and it's time that those who mourn her marriage move on. It's not yours to mourn.
What would have changed so much that she wouldn't deserve our passionate defense here? I can imagine the pressures weren't easy to deal with being a step-mom but i don't imagine her being abusive. Nuh uh, just *not* feasible. Not at *all* And, believe me, i would *know*. I know carol better than i know myself! So, whatever you're implying, i'm saying she's not perfect but she was a decent, loving caring human being, who screwed up like the rest of us, but not enough to be murdered for it.
This wasn't *only* about Colin and his dad, there was something much deeper than that, and a lot of anger there. I find it incredibly sad that he will unlikely see the light of day, and that, is his own doing. Life is full of choices, folks, and colin made one of the most deadly of them. If he's honestly killed her in a fight (and he didn't) or there was a scuffle, i could *maybe* understand it but to cover everything up and use her car just makes me cringe when i see the lack of respect for the victim. That's just wrong.
You can defend Colin all you want, it doesn't make the deed any *more* acceptable. It will never be acceptable and you cannot find me a way to excuse what he's done.
To the person who said "You *bug* me" good! I shall continue to do so...truth hurts!!
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Fine. Your truth is the only one that counts. Your opinion is the only one that counts. Your pain is the only pain that counts. We get it.
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SHEAPOLE! It all boiles down to spare the wipe spoile the child. Take GOD out of the picture only opens the door for SATAN! BIG BROTHER tells you that you cant spank your child, now who is raising your kid nowa days, its big brother. Shut your t.v. off and turn on your short wave to get the truth. The truth is, if you control the media you control the mases. And if you controll the military you controll the world, square buss. We are all being studied by big brother. IN 20 YEARS IF YOU GET CAUGHT TALKING LIKE THIS YOU WILL BE PUT IN PRISON!
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Where did i say that? I am however, telling you that *someone* has to speak up for the victim, and i WILL continue to do so! Carol was the victim here, not the bad guy.
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HERES ONE ON THE TWIN TOWERS.. GO TO YOUR NOTE PAD AND IN CAPES TYPE THIS IN. #1. Q33NY #2. HIGHLIGHT WHAT YOU VE JUST TYPED IN. #3. CHANGE THE FONT SIZE TO 48. #4. CHANGE THE FONT TO WINDING. DO NOT TYPE THE NUMBERS IVE PUT IN FRONT OF EACH TASK! SHEAPOLE WAKE UP!
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Hi. I just finished reading all of these posts! There were no dates on any of them, so I don't know if anyone is still interested, now that it's August. I just located this website tonight or I would have joined the discussion MUCH earlier.
I know all of the parties involved in this tragedy, as I am an adult member of Colin's family. However, I live thousands of miles away, although this tragedy has still affected me deeply. I feel moved to share some information with those of you who seemed to care so much about us. We have been advised by counsel not to share specific details about Carol's murder in a public forum, such as this, because it may prejudice the trial. I can, however, make general comments and hope they help, as your posts have helped me just now.
For those of you who wonder about Steve I can tell you he was completely shattered. He is made of strong stuff but he will never get over this. Please send him your most compassionate thoughts.
For those who speculate about Carol's role in the divorce, there wasn't one. Steve asked JoMarie for a divorce a long time (I believe it was about 2 years) before he met Carol.
For those who wonder why Colin murdered her, I will repeat the theory a friend gave me. She's a psych. nurse whose specialty is criminally insane teenagers, so I give this theory a lot of weight. Her theory is that Carol's murder and Colin's subsequent actions were premeditated and arose from a powerful urge to punish/prove dominance over his father. However, the actual act of murder |
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